- Impotence and relationships
- Conversation and couple therapy
- Sexological talk therapy
Impotence and sexological talk therapy
Erection problems are unfortunately quite common – impotence, erectile dysfunction, ed… Erection problems can occur acutely, gradually or in certain situations. Approx. 50% of all Danish men over 40 have experienced erection problems in one form or another. And approx. 40% of all men over the age of 70 lose their erection. With age, many men therefore experience that the potency is no longer as stable and strong as before.
Although impotence is a common problem, the subject is still taboo for most people. That in itself can be problematic. If the problem becomes a problem (i.e. problematic), then in reality you get two problems – the problem itself and the problem of having a problem incl. to talk about it. Couples therapy can remedy this and lead to dialogue, openness and recognition. In this way, the taboo is broken down at the same time as it becomes easier to deal with the problem.
Erectile dysfunction can, for example, cause frustration, nervousness, performance anxiety, self-blame, low self-esteem and isolation. Many are therefore reluctant to have sex, which can both worsen the problem and create rejection and relationship problems. Therefore, it is important to maintain dialogue, intimacy and just some form of sexual activity. Despite erection problems, it is still possible for some to have both orgasm and ejaculation, but the quality of these phenomena is rarely on a par with what was previously experienced. It is a loss that must be accommodated and processed.
Causes of impotence
The prerequisites for erection are blood supply, nerve connection, psyche and desire (libido).
It is my experience that erection problems, if the physical is otherwise in order, are about something psychosocial that can be processed through ordinary dialogue or conversation therapy, couples therapy and sexological conversation therapy. Typical psychological causes are, for example, performance anxiety, unprocessed psychological burdens, stress, loss/grief and trauma. Other causes can be surgery, hormone balance (testosterone), fatigue, chronic illness, blood pressure, cholesterol/arteriosclerosis (frequent cause), diabetes, obesity, alcohol, smoking, medication and drug abuse.
Treatment of impotence
The four general forms of treatment for impotence are lifestyle change, talk therapy, medical treatment and surgery.
Are the causes general? condition, weight, alcohol and tobacco, the treatment consists of a lifestyle change. In addition, there is the possibility of medical treatment in the form of PDE inhibitors (phosphodiesterase inhibitors) such as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. These preparations work for approx. 75% of cases. Many alternatively use a vacuum pump and/or a pubic ring. If the impotence is due to the medication (e.g. ß-blockers, diuretics and depression/nerve medication such as SSRIs/happy pills) you are already taking, you can talk to your doctor about, for example, an alternative preparation. Surgery (insertion of a penile prosthesis) is the last resort. It is a distinctly specialist task that requires careful investigation and assessment. Since impotence can be a symptom of another disorder, eg high blood pressure or diabetes, it is always advisable to consult a doctor in case of impotence.
Talk therapy for impotence
If the cause is psychological, you can seek individual conversation therapy. It is particularly relevant when it comes to impotence due to individual unprocessed psychological burdens and unfinished situations or traumas such as abuse.
Since erection problems can be caused by and/or affect the joint sex life and the couple relationship, it is often preferable that the partner participates in the sexological talk therapy and that it is supplemented with couple therapy. In addition, the partner in couples therapy is both a help and a support. At the same time, the problem and the roles are balanced so that the man does not feel that he is alone with the problem. It is particularly relevant that the partner participates in the therapy when the cause is relational and situational or desire-related. It also applies that couples therapy is particularly effective for many lifestyle problems that are relational or simply because they are best treated relationally, eg weight, alcohol and depression.
Impotence can cause many opposite and difficult emotions such as disappointment, sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt and shame. It can be difficult to process these feelings at the same time as they affect the relationship. Impotence can thus cause relational problems incl. challenges around self-esteem, identity, roles, balance, approaches and rejection.
Impotence does not necessarily mean that one’s sex life comes to a standstill. Some people actually find other ways to satisfy their sexual needs. That, the sexual practice and identity can also be processed through sexological conversation therapy and couple therapy.
What now
You can read more about couple therapy at www.parterapi-parterapeut.dk and sexological conversation therapy at: www.parterapi-parterapeut.dk/sexologisk-samtaleterapi_parterpi-parterapeut.html If you want couples counseling or a consultation in couple therapy, call 6166 1900.
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