- How do you avoid the classic mistakes in the relationship?
- How do you create a good and lively relationship?
- 10 classic cowards in the relationship
- 10 good reasons to seek couples therapy
Distressed couples and couples therapy
As a couples therapist at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen, I see troubled couples who are in crisis every day. Most people know this well, but still wonder how it could get there and why they now need support in the form of couples therapy. But couples therapy doesn’t have to be a long and complicated process. Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen offers an effective concept in couple therapy.
When is it a problem and when is couples therapy needed?
It is different when we feel the problem and the need for couples therapy. Some lose their spark and others argue or have problems with their sex lives. For some, it can develop into stress, anxiety, depression, infidelity, alcohol problems, crisis, loss, grief and bereavement. It is of course always better to prevent with a pair check or general. couples therapy, but when the pain first appears it is time to seek couples therapy if you want to save the relationship, the family and the children from divorce. It shouldn’t be a raised finger, but it is now a widely known fact that children of divorce and adult children of alcoholics themselves get the problems in life and in the relationship.
After all, we are only human, what do we do with couples therapy
Deep down, we are just people with all our love and good intentions, disservices, habits, blind spots, dark sides, fluctuating self-esteem, attachment problems, rejection problems, separation anxiety… At the same time, we also only have our own internal working model for the relationship / map of reality and the couple relationship to navigate – what you call the imago and work with, treat and develop through imago therapy / imago couple therapy for couples – or imago therapy for singles on dating. Couples therapy is therefore both an investment in oneself and the relationship as well as quality of life and personal development.
Couples therapy is psychotherapy with two adults in a relationship
With our inner map of reality, we somehow seem to know what is right and wrong, but at the same time we can be completely blind and lost in relation to ourselves, the partner and the relationship. It’s part of being human. We have it all – to varying degrees. Therefore, couple therapy is not just couple therapy either, but a special form of psychotherapy, where there is both a focus on the individual psychology, the relationship and the system – with the aim of clarification, healing, development and prevention.
Why is it so difficult with love and why do we have to go to couples therapy
Once it becomes everyday and we end up getting fattened into the couple’s complex relationship and unconscious patterns or psychological games and dysfunctions, it can be difficult to see ourselves from the outside. Combined with stress, our mentalizing ability is reduced. Beating turns off our mental cameras and we have problems with perspective. This means that we find it difficult to see ourselves from the inside – and stop seeing ourselves and our behavior from the outside. At the same time, we find it difficult to see the partner from the outside – and stop trying to see the partner from the inside, incl. the partner’s perception, feelings and intentions. It is perhaps here that some of us think that we ourselves are an angel and that the partner starts to get fangs and horns on the forehead.
Last call for couples therapy
When we are locked in our own reality and the ability to mentalize has only taken a turn, it becomes really difficult. Here, the reptilian brain typically takes over with fight, flight or freeze, while fantasies and emotions mix and become reality. Most people forget about giraffe language and stick to their position, argue about reality, project the problems onto the partner and try to change the partner. When we start to argue, no one listens, mind reading and criticism occur at the same time as the parties withdraw in turn.
The 10 classic mistakes in the relationship and good reasons to seek couples therapy
There are of course many challenges in the relationship and many good reasons to seek couples therapy, but below you will find a list of the 10 classic mistakes in the relationship. If they appear, it should preferably be a red flag or one of the four show-stoppers. And when that happens, it’s just a matter of doing what’s called reverse-engineering. So, basically doing the opposite. And if it bothers you, call the couples therapist immediately or click and book an appointment for couples therapy.
- Silence, distance and withdrawal
- Attempt to change the partner
- Not listening to each other, but instead immediately going into solution mode
- Unfiltered and unloving honesty
- Accusations and reproaches
- Mind reading and mind transfer
- Make the other person responsible for your happiness and unhappiness
- Get married or have children to save the relationship
- Never to talk about feelings, dreams and inner universe
- Naive belief in open and polyamorous relationships / infidelity
By Parterapi-parterapeut.dk
In every crisis there is an opportunity and a learning.
Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen helps turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
Consultation in psychotherapy and couples therapy
You can read more about effective concept in couple therapy.
Or book a consultation in couple therapy, image therapy or psychotherapy on tel. 61661900.
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