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There are primarily four areas that most families seek help for.
The family is seen as a system and the problem as part of the family’s mutual interaction.
In other words, not something that the individual is the cause of.
The problem is thus not an individual problem, or the individual’s responsibility, but the family’s matter.
The solutions must be found in the family’s mutual structure, organization and interaction.
The problems that arise not only affect all the family members personally and emotionally, but also the relationships between them.
We call this the interaction in the family, and it is the quality of this interaction that determines how adults and children thrive.
All communication consists of both content (what we do/talk about) and process (the way we do it/talk about it), and it is often the quality of the process itself that determines whether the family thrives.
The process relates to what we call the behavior in the family – how we communicate, relate, cooperate, create and solve problems, as well as how we alternately lead and take leadership or companionship.
There are also those situations where no one takes the lead. It creates suffering. Because where there is no leadership, there is suffering. Management must be situational and relational. Neither too much nor too little – otherwise over- or under-management occurs.
Since the family is a whole, the behavior of the individual affects the whole as well as the individual family members.
This means that when one person changes, it also causes changes for the others. In this way, the family’s structure, relationships, energies, values and culture are affected by the changes that occur in the individual’s life.
Change also creates opportunities. It provides more opportunities to find resources and potential in relation to the issues.
Family therapy is a gift for the adults as well as the children, whether it is a crisis, problem solving or development.
Families are under constant influence and change.
Harmony is therefore an eternal art of balance. It can sometimes feel like the Chinese plate trick where you try to keep several spinning plates in the air on a row of sticks.
From a distance it looks fine, but at closer range there may be a crunch in the interaction. Some may take on too much responsibility, work too much or suffer too much.
When that happens – or when the plates start to fall to the ground – it can be good to have a helping hand from a psychotherapist who specializes in couple therapy and family therapy.
It cannot be avoided that challenges and quarrels arise in the family.
Sometimes they settle as unfinished situations, bad habits, recurring problems or unresolved conflicts.
There does not have to be actual dysfunction to seek family therapy.
It is more about quality of life and creating a loving and secure base that constitutes a safe framework for individuals, community and coexistence. To create the best foundation for the children’s future.
All happy families look alike.
But the unhappy family is always unhappy in its own way (Leo Tolstoy).
Thus, no two families present exactly the same problem, but the goal is the same.
Many seek family therapy in the transitions between life phases such as:
Or in crises by:
Family therapy can also consist of family counselling, family setups and imago family therapy.
Overall, it is about prevention, treatment, recovery, development, change, love and health.
Participating in family therapy must make sense and be voluntary.
As a starting point, everyone who affects and is affected by the situation can participate in family therapy.
Sooner or later you can feel excluded and left out if you are not invited.
Therefore, it is good to talk openly about it and give everyone the opportunity to answer themselves.
If you are given the opportunity to choose, you can also take responsibility yourself. If you choose family therapy yourself, you must be aware that you will not get the same experience and learning as the others.
If you regret it, you can always participate at a later time. We can work with frameworks, reservations or restrictions on participation at the first meeting. Therefore, when in doubt, attend the first consultation in family therapy.
It is not a prerequisite that the children participate in all the meetings. Not at all if the subject concerns the privacy of the adults.
Without the children, the couple and family therapist, through couple therapy, can also help the parents to a better mutual relationship and leadership, which benefits the children and the rest of the family.
As a couple and family therapist, Parterapi-parterapeut.dk specializes in challenges with closeness, emotions, relationships and interaction as well as communication, conflict and problem solving.
Parterapi-parterapeut.dk has particular experience with families with inappropriate patterns around roles, relationships, responsibilities and boundaries that have arisen in connection with alcohol problems as well as various forms of abuse, addiction and co-dependency.
Different patterns that affect security, attachment, authenticity and identity. Including union or forgiveness, reconciliation, reunion, development and prevention of damaged or broken relationships.
Especially patterns that arise in couples and families with alcohol problems, but also in critical illness, mental illness, medication, loss of parenting ability, childlessness, adaptation, artificial insemination, death and suicide.
Or different patterns seen in couples and families of absence, lack of emotional expression, lack of predictability or distance, concealment, lying, failure and abuse.
Typically also because the parents themselves have grown up in families with abuse and attachment problems or similar issues, which they unconsciously carry within themselves, reproduce and pass on to their own children.
This typically means that the adults do not live the life they want, which also affects the children – but since the children cooperate (compensate) with the system, it can be difficult to see and hear for yourself.
In principle, everyone suffers when just one suffers – by not being seen, heard and taken seriously or by not being able to be themselves.
It is about creating a safe, secure and loving base for self-regulation – being, exchange and growth.
Family therapy helps family members to gain clarity – a better understanding of themselves and each other, their needs and possibilities as well as the whole they are part of.
The specific content and focus of family therapy is defined in interaction between the family and the family therapist.
In the therapeutic space, dialogue and appreciative presence, insight and self-insight, shared attention and an overview of the situation are created.
When all family members – children and adults – participate in family therapy at the same time, they can collectively experience and acknowledge each other’s thoughts, feelings and motivations.
They gain a better understanding of how changes can be created in socializing and interaction.
In family therapy, it is ensured that all family members experience being seen, heard, understood, recognized and accepted. Of course, it can be challenging and sometimes confrontational.
In everyday life, we often react with automatic thought, feeling and action patterns.
In family therapy, we work to get behind them and put them into words – find a joint solution that suits everyone.
The process of family therapy offers the opportunity to rediscover and cultivate love in the family and its own qualities and strengths.
In the dialogue, the individual statements develop at the same time as a new understanding of oneself, the others, the situation, the problem and the solution arises.
This creates presence, love, well-being, quality of life, personal development and skills for life.
The family thus becomes a growth center where everyone can develop through contact, support, openness and love.