Relationships, finances, lies, infidelity and couples therapy

Why do we lie about finances and private consumption?
What does lying and trust mean in a relationship?
What taboos are there in the relationship?
What do finances and adultery have to do with each other?

Article: Lies, infidelity, finances and relationships

Questions and answers about adultery

This is an article in the series of answers about infidelity.
At the bottom of the page you will find links to the other articles in the series.
You are welcome to print, bookmark, email and share this article.
Also see the blog and website for press, press kit and press info .

Are you seeking couples therapy for infidelity?

If you have questions and concerns about finances, lying and infidelity, there is probably a reason for it. It can be a good occasion to stop, take stock and reflect on the relationship. Read more below, on the blog and website. There is also a free relationship test here. Or book a single consultation, like a party check, and get an overview of the matter. But stop the accident and immediately click on infidelity or call 61661900 for couples therapy if the damage has been done. Remember that it is never too late to prevent or save the relationship and the family after infidelity.

Just under half a million lie about finances and consumption in the relationship

A short time ago, as a couples therapist at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen, I was interviewed by BT. This happened in connection with YouGov carrying out a study on relationships and finances, which shows that many lie, for example, about private consumption. But why that? And what happens when we don’t get to talk or have taboos in the relationship?

Taboos in the relationship and couples therapy

Many couples otherwise think that they talk openly and honestly about things. Yet most end up not getting to the essentials and core of the problems. Others do not get to speak out and find sustainable solutions. Still others wait or sweep things under the carpet until it grows and becomes too late. Most therefore have one or more skeletons in the cupboards or bodies in the cargo. Either in the form of lack of dialogue, unfortunate statements, past incidents and unfinished situations or failures, violations, manipulation, lies, concealments and taboos. And the longer you wait, the harder it gets. For some it ends up as an invisible rhinoceros in the middle of the living room – everyone knows it’s there and yet you try to avoid it. It is not good for the atmosphere and the relationship. This creates a need for support in the form of couples therapy.

The classic taboos and couples therapy

Sometimes we don’t get to talk because things are taken for granted. Other times it is because there are things that are difficult, embarrassing or uncomfortable to talk about. But it can also be for misunderstood reasons. Or because there are real taboos involved. There are often one or more things we don’t talk about in the relationship, marriage and family. As a coach, sexologist, couples therapist, imagotherapist and family therapist, it is my experience from couple therapy and family therapy that these taboos are often very individual. However, the classic taboos are typically about psychological problems, illness, abortion, death, alcohol, sex, adultery, religion, politics and money.

The difficult conversation and couples therapy

The taboos and silence can scar the psyche and the soul if you do not receive psychotherapy, crisis therapy or grief therapy in time. It often goes beyond the relationship, marriage, family and other close relationships or the capacity and effort at work. Because as ordinary people, we are not always professionally equipped to handle these vulnerable, critical and difficult conversations with our loved ones. Not to belittle the private conversations. The private and the professional conversations, on the other hand, complement each other while they each serve their own purpose.

Psychotherapy or couples therapy

Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen thus receives many inquiries from individual clients, couples and families who, on the surface, simply want a little psychotherapy, couple therapy or sexological conversation therapy for common psychosocial problems. But when we talk about it during couples therapy, it often turns out that there are untreated or incompletely treated psychological problems such as stress, anxiety, depression, grief, alcohol or infidelity.

Why is couples therapy needed?

It’s not just painful and sad when people don’t speak out. It often causes feelings of, for example, abandonment, isolation, guilt and shame, as well as relational problems in the relationship and the family. It can also go beyond love and self-love. For example, depression processes, infidelity processes and grief processes are very individual at the same time that they can be long and pulsating.

It is difficult for the relatives to follow along and to keep listening. It can feel like it’s never enough or good enough. Because the interlocutor who is not dressed professionally will always find it difficult to hit the need and target. Furthermore, the relative must remain in the private role and relationship. Whereas the professional psychotherapist / couples therapist can assume the professional role and relationship.

With couples therapy, the system is in treatment

At a minimum, the risk is that things are not spoken properly and that at least one of the parties feels overlooked, let down, abandoned, wrong or not recognized. That is why it is important to have individual psychotherapy, crisis therapy and grief treatment or relational psychological treatment in the form of couple therapy / imago therapy.

The advantage of process-oriented and relational psychological treatment in the form of couple therapy is precisely that it is not only the individuals, but also the system that receives support and treatment – so that the system does not oppose, but instead supports the process. It does not have to be long therapeutic courses. You can also come simply to check whether you have been around properly. You can start with a general. consultation or a couples check-up and get an overview of the matter or use the short and effective concept of couples therapy.

Origin, family, dynamics and couple therapy

Other taboos in the relationship can be things that are difficult to agree on. It could be … Where are we going to live? How will we live? Should we have children or should we have more children? Other examples are parents-in-law, child-rearing, sexuality, alcohol problems, co-dependency and prioritizing time and money. These conditions often depend on the parties’ different origins, family and culture.

Couples therapy not only supports insight, but also value clarification, union and shared vision – a shared view of love, the relationship, marriage, family and the future. Couple therapy thus supports the couple in creating a common psychological contract and a common understanding of the relationship, sexuality and cohabitation. Often it can be managed with couples therapy, but if the family is also affected, family therapy is an option. And if you are curious about your own and your partner’s psychology and dynamics and are looking for a first-class living relationship, there is also the option of imago therapy / imago couple therapy.

Trust, lies, infidelity and couples therapy

A good relationship is based on trust, security, confidentiality and openness. Therefore, concealment, distortions and lies can always be harmful to the relationship. Even about small affairs and infidelity. Because, what can you trust and what can’t you? When is the truth spoken and when is it not? And can the other partner also allow himself to lie? It is clear that the greater the surplus in the emotional account, the more bills can be drawn.

But although there is always the possibility of couple therapy, as a couple therapist at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen, I would not recommend that you take chances. Because once the damage has occurred, couples therapy is required. Especially if it involves both lying and infidelity.

Infidelity, insecurity and couples therapy

If lies and infidelity have first arisen in the relationship, it can feel as if everything is falling apart, that the carpet disappears under one and that doubts arise about everything. Who are you to lie and cheat on me? Who am I when you can lie and cheat on me? It affects the identity, the sense of reality and the sense of orientation. Everything becomes chaos. Lies and infidelity question everything and cast doubt on everything. For many, the lie is precisely the biggest pain of infidelity.

Different forms of infidelity and couples therapy

Today, we don’t just talk about one form of adultery, but for example about emotional adultery, sexual adultery and financial adultery. However, most people do not perceive a little white lie about the price of a pair of shoes as financial infidelity. But it may not be the first time and it may be because you are not financially equal, jealousy, separate lives or embezzlement.

Therefore, financial infidelity affects openness, confidentiality, trust and security in the relationship. Money is both power and emotion. For example, feelings such as envy, guilt, shame and sadness may arise. Couple therapy for infidelity can be both preventive and curative. But if the damage has been done, couples therapy for infidelity can support you to clean things up, find each other, be forgiven and reconciled and move on together after the infidelity.

Couples therapy specializing in infidelity

Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen specializes in process- and development-oriented couple therapy around infidelity, crisis, illness, death, loss, grief and growth. At Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen, the couple therapist has over 25 years of experience with relational and psychological development and change processes such as consultant, teacher, coach, psychotherapist, supervisor, alcohol therapist, grief therapist, family and couple therapist.

Read more on the website about insight and transformation via couples check, couples therapy, image therapy, sexological conversation therapy, individual psychotherapy and grief therapy. On the website and on BT’s website you will also find the aforementioned article. Otherwise see under press info.

Q&A about adultery

Articles with practical answers about adultery

In the article series with answers about adultery, you can read more about:

What is adultery?
Why does adultery occur?
What are the signs of adultery?
What are the consequences of adultery?
How is grief handled by e.g. infidelity?
How to forgive adultery?
What do the statistics say about adultery?
What do catchphrases and quotes say about adultery?
First aid guide for infidelity.

By Parterapi-parterapeut.dk

In every crisis and change there is a learning and an opportunity. Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen and online, helps worldwide clients, couples, families, teams and managers to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

At Parterapi-parterapeut.dk you meet Kasper Larsen, mba. He is from 1966 and EAP/EAGT examined psychotherapist and certified couples therapist and sexologist. Kasper has over 30 years of experience and ongoing continuing education at Master’s level under the approval of the American Psychological Association.

He specializes in infidelity and, as something special, he has over 15 years of specialist experience in online therapy by telephone and thus runs a global online business in coaching and psychotherapy. He is fluent in Danish and English as well as German, French, Norwegian and Swedish.

Kasper Larsen has been self-employed since 2002. Before that, he was a top management consultant in the largest consulting houses. As a therapist, he has, among other things, work in social psychiatry and with professional alcohol treatment. For private individuals, Parterapi-parterapeut.dk offers, among other things, psychotherapy, imagotherapy, family therapy, couples therapy, sexology, access bars body processes and alcohol treatment. Supervision, coaching and courses are also offered for businesses.

Consultation in psychotherapy and couples therapy

You can read more about couple therapy at www.parterapi-partterapeut.dk .
Or book a consultation in psychotherapy, couples therapy and sexology on tel. 61661900 .

Tips for the relationship and love

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Blog with free tools, ebooks and articles about infidelity…

What is adultery?

What are the signs of infidelity?

How does infidelity occur and is there even a formula for infidelity?

What are the six primary causes of infidelity?

The diagnosis and anatomy of adultery

The two main and three underlying factors of infidelity?

Should I say that I have committed adultery?

What are the consequences of adultery?

How to forgive adultery?

How to heal the pain after infidelity?

How to move forward together with couples therapy after infidelity

Free guide to getting over infidelity

Avoid infidelity and end the old relationship before a new one

Trust, confidence, mistrust and infidelity

Relationships, finances, lies and infidelity

Organized digital adultery

Emotions and ditital infidelity

Addiction and digital infidelity

Sex addiction and adultery

Statistics on infidelity

Quotes About Infidelity

Kasper Larsen, mba
Examining psychotherapist with certification in couple therapy and specialty in adultery.
Certified coach specializing in mindset, paradigm shift, quantum leaps and turnarounds.