Psychological communication > Image therapy > 3 imago tools
- How do you create a more appreciative dialogue in the relationship?
- How do you establish a change-making dialogue in the relationship?
- How to reverse the negative spiral to love, contact and healing?
- What is imago therapy, imago couple therapy and imago dialogue?
Free toolbox for communication in the relationship and in couples therapy Below are 3 tips for appreciative, loving, healing and change-making dialogue in the relationship. The 3 tools can be used both in your couples therapy at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk and in your own process at home. This toolkit is also the seventh chapter in the eBook on psychological communication, which you get for free on the journey at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk’s Concept in couple therapy . Most people also learn that these principles can also be used in professional relationships, such as at work.
Image therapy and imago couple therapy
Parterapi-parterapeut.dk uses several different tools from different toolboxes as needed. One of the toolboxes is the imago therapy and one of the tools in the imago therapy is the imago dialogue.
The imago dialogue / imago conversation is also the foundation of imago therapy, which creates a basis for your cooperation, communication, mentalization and attachment in the relationship, incl. the continuing therapeutic process, healing and development. In addition, there is the very core of imago therapy, which consists of the psychotherapeutic method, technique and process of imago therapy.
Since the imago dialogue / imago conversation is so effective and universal, all clients at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk are offered elements of this. As soon as there is a basis and interest for an actual course in imago therapy, it is possible. You can participate alone or bring your partner to imago therapy. If you bring your partner to imago therapy, the price is the same for two. Read more image therapy and image therapy for singles on dating. The psychotherapist and couples therapist at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk is a certified imagotherapist and has worked professionally with imagotherapy for a good 10 years. Image therapy is also offered in both Danish and English.
Imago dialogue and imago conversation
New and old clients at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk
There are many new clients who have enjoyed reading about the imago dialogue / imago conversation. And there are many current and former clients who have asked if I would put the tools publicly online so they could read and repeat. Therefore, below are brief instructions for the three levels of the imago dialogue / imago conversation. Although it’s very simple, don’t be disappointed if you can’t get it all working right away at first. It can be challenging and require personal support in the form of instruction, training and adaptation by a psychotherapist and couples therapist specializing in imagotherapy.
Start-up and framework for imagotherapy and imago-dialogue / imago-conversation
Before you start the actual imago dialogue at home, it can be an advantage to set the frame and the scene. For example, time, peace and quiet. Place two chairs opposite each other. Provide self-support in the form of e.g. grounding and centering. Make eye contact. Try to look at each other with open-minded, positive, curious and loving eyes, even though the situation may be difficult. Start with an acknowledgment or appreciation. Choose who is speaking and who is listening and decide on a topic.
The imago dialogue level 1: Mirroring
The very simple version of the imago dialogue consists of a mirroring:
1. What I hear you say…
2. Is it correctly understood?
There are many advantages to this tool. The easiest thing is to try it out and see what it does for you and your partner. Most people quickly find that, for example, they avoid misunderstandings and feel more understood and recognized. After which love and sex life can quickly flourish again for most. Much effort has been put into developing and optimizing the above two small sentences. It will be a very long explanation here. Try it out at first if you have resistance to the choice of words. Otherwise, book a consultation in imago therapy at Parterapi-parterapeut.dk, so that you can have the tool adapted and optimized to your speech, situation and needs.
It is an art to say something with few and short sentences. It is also a challenge to hear , think and speak clearly if you are colored by emotions and the past or have black glasses on ( NSO ). Therefore, do not be disappointed if you try it at home without a couples therapist and miracles do not happen immediately. It is perhaps just an expression that you have potential for couple therapy and imagotherapy.
The imago dialogue level 2: Validation and empathy
The slightly more advanced version of the imago dialogue consists of validation and empathy:
1. Mirroring: What I hear you say… is it correctly understood?
2. Validation: Then it makes sense to …
3. Empathy: Then I can imagine that you feel/felt: 1 … 2 … 3 …
With the two extra steps, the partner will not only feel mirrored, but also understand and empathize. That is, to feel seen, heard and taken seriously. That in itself can change the relationship and ride the storm of any critical situations in the relationship. It will also be able to form the basis for a more change-creating dialogue. But again, don’t give up. Some couples can do it almost immediately and by themselves. Many others need support in the form of couple therapy and imagotherapy.
The imago dialogue level 3: Change and healing
The third level of the imago dialogue, initially aims at change, by frustration. In the second stage, imagotherapy aims at you becoming your own couples therapist. The relationship is both a stage where deep wounds can be activated and a platform where healing and personal development can be created through the relationship in the relationship and imagotherapy. Third level consists of ten steps each 1-4 + 6-8 + 10 is for the speaker, No. 5 is for the listener and 9 is a joint dialogue:
1. What frustrates me is …
2. When I experience it, I get a feeling of …
3. Then my impulse / then react (internally/externally) I know …
4. Then my inner voice tells me / says me to myself …
5. Summary of no. 1-4: Mirroring, validation and empathy …
6. This / that feeling (possibly all the way back to childhood) reminds me of …
7. My greatest longing has always been …
8. My three current (change) wishes (for you) are 1 … 2 … 3 …
9. Agreement: Mirroring (the three wishes), ask if the partner wants and answer clearly …
10. That you want to accommodate me in that way means …
As you can see, you can quickly go far and deep with imago therapy and imago dialogue, while it can become both sensitive and complex. In addition, the imago dialogue is both action-oriented, change-creating and healing. With these tools alone, you can become your own couples therapist. But proceed with caution and immediately book a consultation in imago therapy if it is teasing. If it didn’t work out for you right away, don’t force it or make it worse.
By Parterapi-parterapeut.dk
In every crisis and change there is a learning and an opportunity. Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen and online, helps worldwide clients, couples, families, teams and managers to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
At Parterapi-parterapeut.dk you meet Kasper Larsen, mba. He is from 1966 and EAP/EAGT examined psychotherapist and certified couples therapist and sexologist. Kasper has over 30 years of experience and ongoing continuing education at Master’s level under the approval of the American Psychological Association.
He specializes in infidelity and, as something special, he has over 15 years of specialist experience in online therapy by telephone and thus runs a global online business in coaching and psychotherapy. He is fluent in Danish and English as well as German, French, Norwegian and Swedish.
Kasper Larsen has been self-employed since 2002. Before that, he was a top management consultant in the largest consulting houses. As a therapist, he has, among other things, work in social psychiatry and with professional alcohol treatment. For private individuals, Parterapi-parterapeut.dk offers, among other things, psychotherapy, imagotherapy, family therapy, couples therapy, sexology, access bars body processes and alcohol treatment. Supervision, coaching and courses are also offered for businesses.
Consultation in psychotherapy and couples therapy
You can read more about couple therapy at www.parterapi-partterapeut.dk .
Or book a consultation in psychotherapy, couples therapy and sexology on tel. 61661900 .
Tips for the relationship and love
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Kasper Larsen, mba
Examining psychotherapist with certification in couple therapy and specialty in adultery.
Certified coach specializing in mindset, paradigm shift, quantum leaps and turnarounds.
© Kasper Larsen, 2021. All rights reserved.