Most get divorced two weeks before Christmas

Pair check and status
Couples therapy, stabilization and development
Image therapy, love and relationship formation
Sexological conversation therapy, spark and life energy
Divorce therapy and settlement in a healthy way
Crisis, trauma and grief therapy when you want to move on

A little Christmas horror

A completely different Christmas message is expected. But slung over the mulled wine to the scent of fir and Christmas baubles, it suddenly sounds like the spark and emotions are gone. You get a shock. It’s ear-splitting. Time stands still and you can neither hear nor think. But it doesn’t stop there. Often it continues with something like … you don’t see, hear, understand and acknowledge me. I don’t feel loved at all. I can’t stand you criticizing and picking on me anymore. Sex life has also been too bad for a long time.

Life comes crashing down

In one fell swoop, the Christmas blanket is torn from under your feet. It was thought that you were just going to have a good time and relax a bit. Everything that was like before is now gone. Life rules in gravel. One becomes doubtful about what is up and down. What to believe. Even his own identity is about to dissolve. The head is filled with thoughts and questions, while the emotions become a great chaos. The stomach turns and the crisis is triggered. Good advice is expensive. What to do? Acute couples therapy. Does the partner want to join? Or individual psychotherapy?

Do something about the relationship now or get divorced by March

Often it is completely unexpected. Like a bolt from a clear sky. Other times you might have a good idea…and wait. Perhaps would have understood that it was a shared tacit acceptance of the state of affairs. Or that it was agreed upon and something you wanted to work on over time. And maybe, seek couples therapy in January! But that never happens. This leads to the next big wave of divorces in the spring around March. Will the relationship survive Christmas and … spring?

The skeletons rattling out of the closet

Other times there are things that are avoided and swept under the carpet. A ticking bomb like Christmas lights that slowly but surely burns down. All of a sudden it comes out in the light of day, to the tunes of sweet Christmas music and Christmas treats. A sudden revelation or self-disclosure and realization. The skeletons rattle out of the cupboards and you fall over the bumps in the carpet. I don’t love you anymore. I have been unfaithful to you. I have found someone else and I want a divorce.

Long build-up and failed attempts

Prolonged deprivation, frustration, anger, infidelity, sidestepping Christmas lunch and the classic copier bang, overwork, escapism in leisure interests, sports addiction, alcohol problems, overeating, weight problems, lack of appetite, erection problems… the list is long, the causes and consequences are many.

One tries and tries. Talks and talks. While the other may withdraw and crawl under the radar. Others don’t hear each other, are busy talking into each other’s mouths or arguing about whose reality is the right one. Miserably married. Separate living. Separated-married.

Two weeks before Christmas, many people break up

Many don’t see it coming. But it is exactly two weeks before Christmas that many have had enough and call it quits. But why divorce two weeks before Christmas? Why right now? Did I not see that coming at all?

It is not just me who is busy in my life and psychotherapeutic practice. For most people, it often comes together around Christmas and New Year. Busyness, stress, nervousness, hopes, expectations, demands, achievements, darkness, coldness, distance, poor communication, shortness of breath and arguments or silence. Tense relationships and unfinished situations in the relationship and the family. Many also suffer from stress, anxiety, sadness, depression, grief, sleep problems, weight problems, alcohol problems and adult-child-of-alcoholic problems. There may be a lot that lies beneath the relationship problems and a lot that has been saved up over time. At the same time, the pressure from outside can be great.

Food processor and cheeky underwear or couples therapy as a Christmas present

Maybe this year’s Christmas gift idea isn’t a food processor at all, but a pair check? Or a loving, developing and relationship-building process in imago therapy? Or how about a cut card for sexology talk therapy…instead of buying the traditional red lace underwear?

Couples therapy as a Christmas gift for the couple

Perhaps it is a good idea to give the relationship a clip card for couples therapy as a Christmas present? Alternatively, something that can create Christmas peace is perhaps Access Bars©. Access Bars help many in crisis to get peace and a good night’s sleep as well as to get down into the body and get grounded. Research shows i.a. also that Access Bars can reduce stress, anxiety and depression by over 80% in the short term.

Parterapi-parterapeut.dk’s main task is to make you self-driving – that you become your own couples therapist. That is why Parterapi-parterapeut.dk is not only a certified Access Bars and Energetic Facelift Practitioner, but also an Access Bars Facilitator. That way you can also become certified in Access Bars yourself along the way. Perhaps an Access Bars Course Certification was the best Christmas gift of the year for the couple?

Can the relationship be saved?

As a starting point, the relationship can always be stabilised, saved and developed. But it requires that both parties can and want to, and that you go to couples therapy. Write or call immediately via the website for couple therapy without waiting and come within a week or urgently if couples therapy is urgent. Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen also offers psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.

Pass it on!

It’s a busy time, but I have a full-time practice and want to help as many people as possible. On selected days, there are still available times and the possibility of emergency appointments for couple therapy, psychotherapy and access bars around Christmas and New Year. Like, share and spread the word. Maybe it’s not relevant for you, but maybe it can be the salvation for someone in your network.

By Parterapi-parterapeut.dk

In every crisis there is an opportunity and a learning.
Parterapi-parterapeut.dk in Copenhagen helps turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
The above principles are also used in professional coaching at ErhvervsCoach®.

Consultation in psychotherapy and couples therapy

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