Family therapy and the family as a growth center
The family is a growth center for all parties
We are born in connectedness,
we suffer in separation,
we develop in mutuality.
Anne-Lise Schibbye
The family as a base
The family is not just a safe and secure base as well as a source of love and a sense of togetherness. The family is also a growth center in terms of support, reflection, feedback, challenge and learning.
Family and attachment
In the family, we thus learn about love and attachment. At the same time, we learn about relationships and friendships incl. social relations, communication, problem solving, conflict resolution and crisis resolution. The family thus helps to develop us as people, incl. our intelligence, language skills and competences.
Family, contact patterns, dilemmas
In the family, we learn about contact and how we move in and out of contact. We come into being in the contact and through the relationship. Here we learn to accommodate and deal with dilemmas as well as to negotiate and to let go.
The three biggest dilemmas in the family are balancing the relationship between individual and group, family and work, and child rearing and children’s skills.
The families that succeed in these things are often based on a number of general and pervasive factors, which you can read more about below.
Healthy families depend on a number of general factors
A culture where everyone, in respect for each other,
can express what they think, feel and feel.
A climate where everyone can ask for what
they need.
An environment where the individual is encouraged to
try to get what those involved need.
A place where everyone is allowed to express their anger and sadness
when they cannot get what they want.
That the family takes shape according to the needs of the individual members
and not according to preconceived opinions about how a family should be.
That the family supports individuality with the same intensity
as it carefully guards against chaos.
That every member gets the necessary conditions
to grow and develop.
That every member receives an attention that makes it possible
to articulate and correct tendencies that could create difficulties.
That you go to others
when you can see that they need help.
That you constantly and without being overbearing or overly responsible,
keep a friendly eye on each other and are thus respectfully concerned with the welfare of others.
No two families are the same
No two families are alike.
There are therefore no clear or correct answers to
what the specific family should be like.
But when the above factors are in play,
the family often becomes both a secure base and a center of growth.
In practice, it is about finding out in the family
what works best for the family as well as the individual.
For that purpose, many people contact a family therapist.
Read more about Family Therapy.
Call 61661900 for personal service.
Kasper T. Larsen
Certified couple and family therapist